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blog May 2, 2017

Paw perks at BenevolentAI

Author: Bear

Dear Country Cousin, Long time, no bark! Sincerest apologies – I’ve been so busy with work that I simply haven’t had the time to write. How is the sheep herding business treating you? – I imagine its been a busy time, what with lambing just gone and the sheep dog trial season kicking off in earnest shortly.

My dear country cousin, the life of an office dog can be a challenging one – as we grow as a company I am finding my paws are pretty full.  My role as strategic wellbeing advisor and lunchtime employee exercise monitor (amazing that a longing look inevitably gets me a dog walk by someone in the office)  is increasingly stretched and so I am writing to you to ask if you’ve considered joining me here in London?

There are advantages… …perhaps the biggest is the seemingly endless supply of food.  For the morning, we have a delightful array of cereals (although nobody lets me eat the Coco Pops).   For lunch, the gang often order food in together – today, we had burritos – yum! (but I found out refried beans and dogs don’t go… …windy!!!)  Last week, we went out for a pub lunch.  There’s always fruit in the kitchen available for munching on (although personally I prefer eating the baskets they come in).

And let’s not forget about Pastry Mondays. Ohh, Pastry Mondays. Fresh pastries are brought in from a little French bakery every single week, simply to make Mondays a little easier. Woof woof indeed.

Have you ever been to our office? I don’t think you have – and you’re missing out. We’re right in Central London and are within a 5-minute reach of THREE PARKS (four, if you count the one by the Crick Institute)!  A little further away (10-15 minutes, depending on whether your human can keep up) is Regents Park. There are so many squirrels there and unlike the ones in the countryside, they don’t flinch when you go near them – perfect for playing!

Receptionist says that the humans get lots of other perks which don’t apply to dogs, not least because we don’t understand them.  What for example is a ‘gym’ and why would I want to belong to it?  And I don’t understand life insurance – I’m already quite sure that I have life, thank you. And surely as they get health insurance, we should get pet insurance. I might suggest it to HR.

The humans are also very excited by the prospect of ‘happy hour’, which we do every other Friday to celebrate the team’s achievements. Personally, I don’t see what the fuss is about. All they do is drink beers and play this foosball thing. That’s it. No Frisbees, no walkies, nothing of real interest. I tried to eat the foosball once and I was told off – can you imagine!

In conclusion, my dear countryside cousin, the perks are many and the postmen are few. The humans are great, the chew-toys are numerous (if you’re including table legs), and the snacks are bottomless. I really think you’d like it here.  Do consider joining us – I eagerly await your response.

Woofs and slobber

Bear